October 14, 2004, The Ruckus in the Cactus
I must say, showing up as a "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot" in the first two or three rounds cost Kid Kerry some points, although based on scoring by the fifth and sixth round, your talking dog would have ultimately awarded a split decision to Kid Kerry over No Gentleman George in last night's presidential debate in Tempe, AZ. Frankly, I resent having to listen to Kerry at all (thank you Iowa), but making me hear his stump speech bullshit in response to an easy question that presented big-time scoring opportunities made me want to puke. Worse, Bush came right back with the truest and fairest counterpunch-criticism of Kerry of all: you bitch a lot about what I do... without saying what you'd do differently or better. Bush scored points, IMHO, on a bogus question about flu vaccine, that really shouldn't have been asked, with a spirited, though inaccurate attack on trial lawyers. I scored Kerry's counter-punches on "health care in general" as having not connected, awarding the round to Bush.
However, proving his reputation of being a better fighter coming from behind, and especially a late round "closer", Kerry actually picked up steam and came on strong, and won by "t.k.o."-- that's right, I disqualified Bush when he went to the below-the-belt "global test" horseshit. There are some things I will not tolerate. I'm perfectly happy to hear Bush deny what he once clearly said about Osama (kind of like Cheney's denial of meeting Edwards), and I'm even happy to hear him TRY to torture Kerry's voting record. Look: its politics-- go ahead and lie. Doesn't bother me, actually. But don't patronize me. The "global test" has pretty much been beaten to death (Kerry more or less made clear that he SAYS he won't give Paris and Berlin a veto over our defense, yada yada yada), and Bush was well aware it was an illegal punch-- he just couldn't help himself. I'm sorry-- flip flopper, waffler... be my guest. But not the global test. Especially with the little fingers putting it in quotes. (Unless you WANT a d.q., of course.)
Although this (fight-ending) incident happened in round 7 or 8 IIRC, Guest Referee Bob Schieffer of CBS nonetheless let the viewers see what they showed up for, and the fight went on anyway (albeit in pretend form) with Kid Kerry just pummeling the crap out of the titleholder in the late rounds. It wasn't pretty-- not that watching Bush ever is.
Although until the t.k.o., I had it scored pretty evenly-- indeed Bush was ahead on my card going into round three, other viewers, interestingly, scored it much more decisively for Kerry.
If so, that means Kid Kerry won all three of his head to head bouts-- the Pummelling in the Palms (in Miami), the Kablooey in St. Louie, and now the Ruckus in the Cactus (in Phoenix) with the reigning titleholder, going into the actual Title Match in 19 days, having been outpunched thrice (same number as Kerry's purple hearts). Since I also scored the Swing State Swingin' Match in Cleveland between Pretty Boy Edwards and Dirty Dick Cheney to be a decisive, solid 3-0 decision for the challenger, the titleholders should not consider themselves in a strong position going into Electoralmania 2004 on 2 November.
Fortunately for them, there won't be any judges available to declare t.k.o.'s for the expected cheatin' by George and Dick (except for the bought and paid for five that wear black robes and sit on Capitol Hill). Which means that the Kid Kerry and Pretty Boy Edwards' tag team act is probably going to have to win by a pure (preferably painful and bloody) knock-out.
A tall order-- but Kid Kerry is finally pouring it on now. And George and Dick look like they are coming in sluggish and overweight against the lean and mean challengers. What an exciting 19 days to go, folks (and who knows HOW much longer after that with this year's coming Florida "recount"!)
Comments
OK, so now we have those out of the way, the dirty stuff escalates. What will be Rove's underhanded October Surprise? Osama bin Laden on ice?
Posted by Sarah at October 14, 2004 11:38 AM
Sarah:
Kerry (hopefully) has a different group of people around him than he did when the Swift Boat bullshit came to light, and can now react intelligently to whatever is thrown (smart money says look for cheap shots AT TERESA).
My friend running for Congress believes that RIGHT NOW-- the Democrats should PUBLICLY suggest a national, open agreement on a protocol of what to do in the event of (1) an actual terror attack on American soil within 48 hours of, or on, Election Day, (2) a perceived "imminent threat" of same, or (3) some "natural disaster" (hurricane or wildfires, or whatever). His suggestion would be a slight delay in the effected state(s) only. The REASON for this is is to discourage
such events from actually happening, knowing that the Republicans CANNOT COUNT ON CHAOS AS THEIR FRIEND. Hopefully, the national Democrats and Kerry will see the wisdom of that.
Capturing OBL? You mean Junior's ex-bid'ness pardner's l'il bro', and a clear fave at the Saudi court? A bogeyman Bush will need in his second term? I just don't see that as a real possibility. Kerry SHOULD have set it up so that it's THE DELAY in capturing OBL, rather than the ACTUAL capturing of OBL that's the problem-- thereby shaming Bush into not capturing him at all-- but where I sit, I just see OBL's capture as unlikely.
No, I think we're looking at more dirty shit (btw, a lot of Bush's ad barrage effectively LOWERED people's EXPECTATIONS about Kerry-- when they saw him in the debates-- especially last night's--looking strong, cogent and presidential, he EXCEEDED EXPECTATIONS, which may be why he is perceived as having won handily, something that I didn't see.)
In the end, though-- the key to a good surprise is that its a surprise. Anything we could guess wouldn't be good enough!!!
Posted by the talking dog at October 14, 2004 12:24 PM
Don't lose any sleep on whether Osama will be captured. He won't, pretty much for the reasons laid out by your TD.
Posted by Hassan Bar Sinister at October 14, 2004 2:38 PM
thank you Iowa
Hey, enough with the Iowa bashing! Two candidates benefitted from our caucuses (Kerry and Edwards), and three were hurt (Gephardt, Dean, and Lieberman), with one inflicting a wound on himself by not attending (Clark). At that point, the Democrats still could have gone with Edwards, or even revived Dean, but NH cemented it. So, if anything, NH is to blame for the fact that Kerry, not Edwards (or Dean, if you prefer), is the candidate.
Posted by Tung Yin at October 14, 2004 5:06 PM
Oh, T.Y.-- it is so Iowa's fault! It is, it is, it is!
Seriously, folks, the rest of the country was free to ignore Iowa's sage advice, as frankly, it does in many other election years! For whatever reason this year, things fell in such a way that whoever came out of Iowa first was going to win the nomination (and strangely, whoever came in second would be veep). Just how it played out.
Kerry is a perfectly good candidate, and will make a perfectly good-- no, make that a very good President. In fact, I will be proud to cast a ballot for him, and I urge all Americans to do the same.
Kerry has, however, a VERY irritating love of hearing himself talk, especially his ungodly dull stump speech. Shieffer was lobbing him softballs; instead of just swinging at the balls thrown, Kerry had to... hear himself talk... and missed out on some home run opportunities.
No matter-- he won the bout, he won all three bouts... Bush's strategy of trying to belittle KErry (to avoid defending Bush's own record!) may have backfired, as enough people saw that the youthful, lean and mean John Kerry actually DOES not only have a pulse, but looks more presidential than the knee-injury addled, overweight, pain-killer and anti-depressant riddled President.
Posted by the talking dog at October 14, 2004 6:14 PM
For whatever reason this year, things fell in such a way that whoever came out of Iowa first was going to win the nomination
Well, I think we can blame Terry MacAullife(sp?) for this one. The primaries were jammed so close together that Kerry seemed invincible after he won Iowa and NH back to back.
I hope you're right about Kerry being a "very good President." Personally, I think he'll be less bad than Bush, but I don't have great expectations. On the foreign affairs front, I think he'll get a brief honeymoon, but then Continental Europe will go back to business as usual, and Kerry's lack of tact (while I don't see a problem with the "wrong war" line, I think Bush is right that constantly saying we're "going it alone" IS insulting and offensive to Britain, Australia, and yes, Poland) doesn't give me reason to be optimistic.
Posted by Tung Yin at October 14, 2004 6:55 PM
I don't think Kerry's global test remark has been "beaten to death," not least because Kerry hasn't adequately explained what it means. Of course he denies that anyone would have a veto over US foreign policy -- what else is he going to say? -- but there's no question that Kerry places a much higher value on international opinion than does Bush.
The "global test" remark is relevant because, together with all his multilateral talk, it makes one wonder how high that value might really be and whether its higher than many Americans would like. Does the global test require that we be attacked first? If not, at what point would Kerry's preemption doctrine kick in? He's said he wouldn't require UN approval to protect America, but at what point would he defy the UN or France and Germany? Is it so high that it would effectively amount to a foreign veto? What would he be willing to give up in order to secure their participation in an action Kerry sees as important?
Sarah asks about an October surprise. I'm not cynical enough to believe that this administration would sit on bin Laden (if he's even still alive) and then spring him at an opportune moment. I also don't believe it coordinated the Swift Boat Veterans' attacks, but if I had to take a guess at anything that might pop up against Kerry in the next two weeks it would be something to do with his military records. I don't think that matter is over yet. Kerry refuses to release all of his military records by signing the S.F. 180, as Bush has reportedly done, and that leads me to suspect there's some fire near all that smoke.
By the way, while the Swift Boat Veterans' have the right to tell their version (and they were right about Kerry's Christmas in Cambodia story and a few other things) questioning whether or not a guy bled enough or was heroic enough to have earned his combat medals always struck me as unseemly and unfair.
Posted by Lawrence at October 14, 2004 10:08 PM
This was the "domestic issues" debate. The "global test", AS USED BY BUSH, is an external affair. Therefore, an illegal punch. D.Q. properly called. If Bush WANTED to have a free for all on foreign affairs AND IRAQ AGAIN, he should've had his campaign agree to that. IN this case, since his campaign chose this tight, bogus format-- he'll get the rule enforced against him. Arbitrary? Just a little! Again, I remain perplexed that THIS is the debate that Kerry seems to have won by the widest margin in most people's minds.
No one is saying the SBVFT don't have "the right" to say whatever they want. It would be nice if ANYTHING they said had the least bit of factual verification and didn't contradict statements that its own members had previously made, of course.
And an October surprise will, by definition, by A SURPRISE! No, OBL is not now in custody... these guys just couldn't keep that a secret!
Posted by the talking dog at October 15, 2004 8:20 AM