December 7, 2005, The world's shortest...
How about "shortest ethics course", when it is suggested by the current Republican speaker of the House. No doubt we can get ex-Majority leader Tom DeLay and ex-Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham to serve as guest lecturers.
How about... shortest t.v. mini-series about the Holocaust..., in this case, a mini-series proposed by Mel Gibson set agaisnt the backdrop of the Holocaust. Mel Gibson's father is already on record as a Holocaust denier (that will shorten the mini-series right there), and Mel's Passion of Christ is regarded by many as anti-semitic... But hey... with rumors swirling that Mel may be the California GOP's backup should Arnold's services be terminated...
Or... shortest connecting flight...... as an apparently mentally ill passenger boarding his connecting flight from Miami to Orlando ran up and down the airplane aisles claiming he had a bomb in his bag (even as his wife ran behind him screaming that he was mentally ill and handn't taken his medication), and, when exiting the aircraft, failed to stow his arms and legs on the ground as directed by air marshals, who shot him, dead. Say this for post-9-11 airport security: it's no longer a joke, not even a little.
Shortest stay in the dock... former Iraqi Prime Minister Mohammed Hamza Al-Zubaidi died in U.S. custody before participating in the war crimes tribunals that are currently involving Saddam Hussein and seven others... reportedly of heart problems...
And shortest... welcome?... to SecState Incompetetentalleezza Rice, for suggesting that the U.S. does not tolerate torture by its personnel (apparently, like corruption in New Orleans or in my home County of Kings, where we do not tolerate corruption)... we demand it.
Well, that's all my attention span will take on this... yet another day that will live in infamy, on the 64th anniversary of some event that wasn't nearly as important as 9-11 (or that Super Bowl where Janet Jackson's booby showed...)