April 1, 2014, Guest Post
Hidely-ho, neighbors. Your old pal Satan here. My buddy TD doesn't usually yield this particular space to anyone... but in this case, well, golly... I kind of made him do it.
Anyway, news from our friends around the world... we'll start with that awesome rip-off I made my servant Josh Radnor do. I haven't had that much fun since the Seinfeld finale... or Lost! ... or Dexter... I just love to spoil series-enders! So sue me... and try to find a lawyer without a conflict there.
And my servants over in Malaysia released a transcript of Stealth Flight 370's contact with air traffic controllers... Where's that plane? Damned if I know! (I LOVE this stuff!)
I see my pal Glenn Beck is being sued for defamation over my Boston Marathon thing... don't worry Glenn... you know things always turn out okily dokily for my buddies!
And in a story that warms my heart, it looks like my servants over at CIA seem to have "misled" my other servants over on the Senate Intel committee about those "interrogations" I dreamed up... man, I can't tell you how entertaining I find all of that...
So... I know some of you are wondering what's going to happen in the future... like I'd tell you! But just a few teasers... more "quantitative easing"? Check. More Guantanamo? Check. More lower unemployment by not counting people without jobs? Check. More global warming? You know how much I like heat...
WelI I'm not thinking straight... why did I have that wine cooler last month? Have a great day everybody... and thanks, TD, for letting me guest post. Like you had a choice.