President declares Cheney cover-up “satisfactory”

The President, as usual, expressed full confidence in his vice-president and the President stated he was satisfied with Dick Cheney’s explanation and his conduct of how he trickled out information regarding it to the press in derogation of the usual White House press channels and how he successfully avoided investigation of his probable inebriation at the time of the shooting.
Except, of course, that this won’t do. This won’t do at all. There are lots and lots and lots of non-stories out there, that there’s no point in us talking about, like the scathing UN report demanding that Gitmo be shut down ; or the rapid increase in melting of the Greenland ice sheets (which is certainly not being caused by global warming or anything man– especially in the United States– might be doing); or how our government “accidentally” turned over incredibly sensitive classified data to attorneys representing an Islamic charity believed linked to terrorists; or of course, more revelations on Iraq’s death squads and still more Abu Ghraib abuse, torture and murder (no other word for it) photos.
The fact is, there might be, oh, a glimmer of hope for the republic, if there was widespread interest in any of those things, or things like the senate’s sudden abandonment of the NSA domestic spying scandal probe (note that a federal judge has ordered the disclosure of all details of “the program” within twenty days; the joy of our system is that, rather than just ignore the order and be in contempt, the Administration can file endless appeals and can allow years while, as noted by Bruce the Veep, the Bush Administration will likely have long shredded anything too embarrassing… or better yet, be out of office altogether.) But there isn’t.
My point is simply this: since none of those arguably important stories will get any shrift whatsoever beyond their early mention (even the Greenland story, what with its, you know, profound implications for human life on the planet and all)… we may as well get to play out the seemingly more frivolous tabloid type story– that would be all Dick “I can de-classify anything I want” Cheney– all the time. (Like you see on this blog; I’m not sure I’ve ever done five posts in a row on the same topic before…)
And so we shall. Dick has given the press (and blogtopia, yiksctt) what it wants: a tawdry tale of human weakness and intrigue and mystery… as I’ve said, it was the Vice-President’s own fault by not insisting on proper procedure– prompt notification to the White House, immediate securing of the scene and evidence and witness statements by the Secret Service, FBI, and the Kenedy County Sheriff (note the last one is better late than never, as that office now says “it’s a huntin’ ax-i-dent… nothing to see here folks, move along…”)
Well… nyuh uh! Dick Cheney has brought this on himself, baby, and God damn it, the rest of us are going to get our money’s worth. Our republic– hell, our f***ing planet– and I mean the ability to live on it as humans– all goes to hell in a handbasket, and nobody seems to give a s***. So if the only thing we get to harp on is Dick “Two DUI Convictions” Cheney andhis drinking while carrying fire-arms and on heart medication… well, then, we’ll just have to take that.
And if the President won’t let us have that, then I say he can go f*** himself. Not to worry. He’ll come around. He’ll see the “bread and circuses” value of letting old Dick twist in the wind some more… Because he’s our savior… protecting us from Al Qaeda. And ennui.