Shiver your timbers

Arrrrrr! Avast, me maties… it’s only fittin’ on this, “talk like a pirate day,” that Beltway Buccanneer Ben Bernanke and Henry the Pirate Paulson managed to raid the halls of Congress to get the usual fatcats there in their slow moving vessels to hand over all the dubloons in the hold… by proposin’ the largest act of public financial piracy in the history of the world.
In a move that the pirates from Wall Street will love, the publicly paid pirates decided who they would stick with the bar tab for the national drinking binge of the last nearly eight years, which resulted in quite the party for those few thousand mortgage-backed marauders, corporate raiders and hedge fund freebooters takin’ home trillions in solid gold dubloons and other booty while the average land’lubber watched as his real earnings declined (while his productivity still went up higher than the mizzen mast), and only borrowin’ on his home kept him from sinkin’ to Davey Jones locker. Arrrrrr.
Now that the bill is due, o’ course, one can’t expect the plunderin’ class to pay it… but, as always, the land’lubbers will be footin’ the bill for being’ stolen from. The Beltway Buccanneers tell us the tab will be between $500 billion and $1 trillion, dependin’ on just how worthless that worthless paper they are holdin’might be… or if it really is a treasure map. If it be treasure, we can be sure that the corsairs of the capitol will merrily hand it over to their friends. If the chest be full o’ sand, that’s what the taxpayers be buyin’.
Ay, the Republican pirates keep be givin’ us real pirates a bad name! Arrrr!