April 2, 2004, Don't Trust Your Soul to No Urban Northern Jury...
Actually, you might want to resconsider that, especially if you were corporate pig-whores (though not necessarily criminals) Dennis Koslowski and Mark Swartz of the Tyco Corporation, who bought themselves a mistrial today after 11 unfruitful days of jury deliberations. And when I say bought a mistrial, let me just say I mean EXACTLY that-- "J'Accuse", and leave it at that.=; Juror No. 4, a 60-something retired schoolteacher who went to law school in her 50's, flashed the "OK" sign to the defense table, to signify that the brown paper bag arrived where it was supposed to (this is all on information and belief, and IMHO; I have no idea HOW Koslowski and company managed to get the juror to side with them-- maybe they even did it with their case; I'm just playing the odds). Manhattan DA Robert Morgenthau's office has already vowed to re-try the pair of corporate pig-whores.
You see, when you steal over $600,000,000 from shareholders, and thereby help the Bush Administration along in its holy mission of destroying the Middle Class for the benefit of a privileged few, there are probably a few bucks left lying around to buy yourself a recalcitrant juror. It became obvious that Juror NO. 4 was not-- ever-- going to vote guilty, despite the firm convictions (as it were) of the other 11 jurors. Yes, that's what the jury system is all about: if she did not feel the prosecutor didn't prove its case, its her sworn duty to hold out for an acquittal-- regardless of the other juror's opinions if they could not sway her (nor she them).
Its just that when you see whoredom and excess of the level of a Koslowski who, (unlike Martha Stewart), actually benefited in a meaningful way from the crime of which he was accused, and the crime of which he was accused did, in fact, move the market toward billions of dollars of losses for the shareholders of the Tyco Corporation, a conglomerate that owned a lot of profitable businesses-- profits Mr. Koslowski used to furnish his home with Old Masters, $6,000 shower curtains, multi-million dollar parties... honestly, to me, the death penalty does not sound inappropriate in this case. Its one thing to just steal-- its another to rub it in everyone's face. Its why, in the annals of the game of football, the Raiders' Jack Tatum, who paralyzed the Patriots' Darrell Stingley after what was considered a "clean hit" once, was just another dirty player, whereas the Jets' Marc Gastineau, fond of his "sack dance"-- rubbing it into the other team-- actually mandated a rule change for HIS antics. No one likes a poor sport and smartass. Its unAmerican. If you steal big, keep it to yourself, please.
No matter. Either way, the Bush Administration has what it wants: Martha is appealing a conviction, Koslowski faces a re-trial, and Kenny Boy remains unindicted. A good few weeks, all in all.
Call the next case, please.
Comments
As one of those engaged in the game of saving capitalism from the capitalists - and I admit I've somewhat neglected my attacks on Corporatism - ...Where was I? Oh, yeah. You may well be right. I'm certainly willing to boot this guy out of my camp.
Posted by Old Whig at April 3, 2004 12:32 AM
Actually, the Bushies want to get Martha. She is a Democrat. That what she did pales beside the crimes of the average Bush Pioneer only serves to make their point.
Posted by Social Scientist at April 5, 2004 09:26 AM
It appears that "actually" has radically changed its meaning when I was looking somewhere else.
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