June 22, 2004, Mission Implausible! (or is it... mission imbecile?)
Good morning, Mr. Bush.
As you know, Osama bin Laden, the brother of Salem, your former business partner, has been engaged in a series of annoying activities directed against American interests.
Since you inadvertently allowed the most material witnesses in the world to flee the United States with only cursory questioning, it became necessary to increase the pressure on others to compensate, usually meaningless shlubs sold to our forces on the battlefields of Afghanistan or elsewhere, or, of course, completely innocent shlubs (well, 70-90% of them were innocent), often women and children, picked up from the streets of Baghdad and then tortured in our custody in Iraq.
Accordingly, you ordered various "get tough measures" including unlawful determinations that we could ignore the Geneva conventions and declare captured fighters "unlawful combatants" and try them in kangaroo courts, and of course, declaring your "intrinsic power as commander in chief" to do these sorts of things... after all, having not only let the witnesses most likely to both be culpable and actually know anything escape the United States at the request of a nation any other chief executive would have asked Congress for a declaration of war against, you then assisted an airlift from Afghanistan during which key Taliban and Al qaeda leadership (including quite possibly Osama himself) escaped into Pakistan. As such, efforts to squeeze "information" from unlucky shlubs we picked up had to be that much more aggressive.
Your mission is to keep the whole thing (including the insane Iraq war, outrageously bad fiscal policy, an otherwise soft economy, and a badly handled "war on terror") from flying apart at this point-- to hold together not merely "your base" of corporate criminals and religious extremists,
but to cobble together enough other voters whose heads have been up their asses for the last three and a half years through judiciious use of the words "liberal", "waffle" and "liberal", and keep their heads up their asses for another few months in time to support your reelection.
As you know, in the event any of your I.M. force should be captured or killed, or any "unhelpful" memos be leaked to the press, the Secretary (and the Vice-President) will disavow knowledge of your actions.
This Administration will self-destruct in five months. Good luck, George.
Comments
Okay TD....I'll bash so you don't have to...It is most definitely Mission Imbecile. Great post.
Posted by alicia at June 22, 2004 09:29 PM
Mission Implausible, YEHHH!!!
Super Chulapa, NOOOOOO!!!
Posted by TITITITIMMMMAY at June 22, 2004 10:38 PM
So I went to Barnes & Noble to buy the Clinton book, but I couldn't find it in the Biography or Non-fiction sections.
I asked a clerk, and was told to look in the Harlequin Romance section.
But seriously, folks.
Why aren't you liberals more angry with this man? He's deliberately stealing the spotlight from Kerry, so that the Pantsuit can run in 2008. Why is all the vitriol reserved for W? Anyone? Anyone?
Posted by They Call Me Mr. Crabcake at June 23, 2004 01:03 PM
Having the spotlight on Clinton only helps Kerry. We love Bill - if he could run again, he'd win by a landslide. He reminds us of the days when there was real prosperity, a budget surplus and when scandal took the form of a little sexual indiscretion rather than looting the treasury, fascism, war crimes and violations of international law.
Posted by Morgaine at June 24, 2004 04:12 AM
The vitriol is reserved for Shrub because he's an incompetent boob who has surrounded himself with incompetent boobs and because he is making a mess of the US government and destroying the Constitution and our rights with it. We like Clinton because he was a competent president who served the country well. Nobody takes the constant drumbeat of morons saying "Hillary is going to run for president in X" seriously because, until she announces, it isn't worth paying attention to. She would have a lot of support if she did run. Since the Hillary haters are idiots, and lack rationality, there is no point in joining their ranks in hating Hillary Clinton.
If you need anything else explained to you, Mr Crablice, let me know.
Posted by WallyCoxLives at June 24, 2004 08:58 AM
Well this part of me hates Hilary.
How dare you speak for the whole body?
Posted by WallyCox'sLiver at June 24, 2004 01:14 PM
Wally,
Define competent.
Posted by They Call Me Mr. Crabcake at June 24, 2004 09:06 PM
I am in a moral quandry.
My friend searches for http://cheating.any1in.us/cheating-wife.html cheating wife on google to screen potential roommates.
He found any1in.us , but did not visit.
I, on the other hand, searched for http://www.any1in.us/detect-spyware.html detect spyware and found any1in.us.
I went there and found that http://detectives.any1in.us/siblings.html siblings were easier to find than on google.
Should I tell him that his potential roommate is a http://detectives.any1in.us/family-services.html family services ?
Posted by V. Dombrosky at July 8, 2004 12:40 AM
Great page !
Posted by lpd exploit at July 28, 2004 10:29 PM
Excellent site. Keep up the good work.
Posted by reality based porn at July 30, 2004 04:09 AM
I liked very much your web site.
Posted by news stories at August 7, 2004 08:40 AM
cool stuff
Posted by free porn at August 8, 2004 03:02 AM
6797 You can buy viagra from this site :http://www.ed.greatnow.com
Posted by Viagra at August 8, 2004 03:18 AM
5515 Why is Texas holdem so darn popular all the sudden?
http://www.texas-holdem.greatnow.com
Posted by texas holdem at August 9, 2004 04:37 PM
406 get cialis online from this site http://www.cialis.owns1.com
Posted by cialis at August 10, 2004 04:50 PM
3388 ok you can play online poker at this address : http://www.play-online-poker.greatnow.com
Posted by online poker at August 10, 2004 07:17 PM
1503 Keep it up! Try Viagra once and youll see. http://viagra.levitra-i.com
Posted by Viagra at August 13, 2004 09:49 PM
Excellent site. Keep up the good work.
http://www.888-online-casino.biz
http://www.888-on-net.biz
Posted by online casino at August 14, 2004 02:46 AM
240 Get your online poker fix at http://www.onlinepoker-dot.com
Posted by online poker at August 15, 2004 08:38 PM
2993 black jack is hot hot hot! get your blackjack at http://www.blackjack-dot.com
Posted by play blackjack at August 16, 2004 11:34 PM
7634 so theres Krankenversicherung and then there is
Krankenversicherung private and dont forget
Krankenversicherung gesetzlich and then again there is always beer
Posted by Krankenversicherung private at August 17, 2004 10:11 PM
4927 Its great to experiance the awesome power of debt consolidation so hury and consolidate debt through http://www.debtconsolidation.greatnow.com pronto
Posted by debt consolidation at August 19, 2004 03:48 AM
7700
http://www.exoticdvds.co.uk for
Adult DVD And Adult DVDS And Adult videos Thanks and dont forget Check out the diecast model
cars at http://www.diecastdot.com
Posted by Adult DVDS at August 19, 2004 09:42 PM
Posted by viagra at 20.08. 2004 18:37:27 for http://www.viaga-viagra.greatnow.com powered by car hire at http://www.car-hire.greatnow.com and diecast http://www.diecast.greatnow.com
Posted by viagra at August 20, 2004 12:37 PM
4925 check out the hot blackjack at http://www.blackjack-p.com here you can play blackjack online all you want! So everyone ~SMURKLE~
Posted by play blackjack at August 23, 2004 09:16 PM
1857 Herie http://blaja.web-cialis.com is online for all your black jack needs. We also have your blackjack needs met as well ;-)
Posted by blackjack at August 25, 2004 01:21 PM
3099 check out http://texhold.levitra-i.com for texas hold em online action boodrow
Posted by online texas hold em at August 25, 2004 10:02 PM
5901 Look at http://oncas.tramadol-web.com/
its the hizzy for online casino action any where!
Posted by online casino at August 27, 2004 04:05 PM