Lemon law?

Many states have laws providing remedies for customers who purchase chronically bad vehicles, known colloquially as “lemons”. What can one say to the American taxpayer, after nervous lawmakers got together to give away $15 billion more of China’s American taxpayer’s money in an apparent auto-maker bailout deal… buying not merely clunker cars, but clunker car companies?
I’ve got your auto bailout right here, America. Fuggedabout the $25 billion asked for; the federal government will pay twice that– $50 billion– immediately secured by the outstanding shares of all three automobile makers; in return, the auto makers will obtain long term contracts for the provision of all fleet vehicles to the federal government (and to state and municipal governments under issuance in lieu of various block grants). Each vehicle produced under this arrangement shall be at the current “most fuel efficient” level technologically available, and, by contract, this efficiency shall improve by at least 5% per year for the duration of the contract (and greenhouse emissions, by contract, will decline by at least 5% per year).
And the auto-makers will be provided to produce a certain number of electric and alternate fuel vehicles, and shall be obliged as part of the contract to install the appropriate infrastructure for serviving them. Further, the companies shall engage in necessary structural reforms, including a one-time opportunity to permit their retirees and workers to buy in to the federal employees’ health care and retirement systems, for discounted benefits (but far better than what they would be should their former employers tank).
In short: help private sector companies by actually buying their products, and using market forces and government buying power to improve their performance, rather than simply giving money to our auto-makers a la the Soviet Lada or the Yugoslavian Yugo.
Free market capitalism… we got what you need right here, America.