the talking dog

It is being widely reported that Pakistani troops and air power are surrounding the location of a "high value" Al Qaeda figure, believed to be OBL's chief deputy, Zayman Al-Zawahiri. As I told you in this column within the last few days, Pakistani forces are now moving internally in conjunction with the planned capture (as let out of the bag in my comments by Ayn Clouter) as scheduled by Karl Rove and Dick Cheney for April 20th...( or the 19th here... the 20th is Hitler's birthday; the 19th, that of Mary Poppins).

So we are right on schedule-- the traditional "softening up" will be done by Pakistani forces, as we are more or less watching now. American forces will mobilize (all 11,000 troops in the region-- barely 10% of our current deployment in Iraq-- and that is already a reduced number), and, in a coordinated effort, will "capture Osama bin Laden" on more or less the date I'm telling you (they may move it around by a day or two in either direction-- just to fuck with me... and Ayn). Hey-- al Zawahiri is big news-- he's a monster, and very important to Al Qaeda; if Pakistan gets him for us (along with a Ron Jeremy photograph)... well, thanks Pervez!!!

But why this sudden push now?

The Spanish situation should certainly be sobering to the Bush Administration. I once quipped that Bush shold be delighted by the Israelis-- Sharon was widely credited with undermining his nation's security, wrecking his nation's economy, and further lowering his nation's standing in the world... so naturally, when up for reelection, he won in a landslide. Well, that didn't happen in Spain... the people THERE were PISSED at being played for suckers by a government-- much like its pals in the Bush Administration-- that wanted to capitalize on its people's own suffering for its own political advancement. (Sound familiar?)

So... the American economy continues in its moribund state; the big bombings in Baghdad and elsewhere in Iraq have resumed, American troops continue to be killed; Kerry doesn't seem to be wilting under the (rather lame and ineffective) attacks on him... in short,

its crunch time at 1600 Penn

. We need something to turn around the momentum of ever weakening poll results-- NOW. Yes, yes, originally even I foolishly predicted that OBL would be delivered as a birthday present to Hillary Clinton (and myself): 26 October. But-- after the Spanish situation, that could very easily be interpreted as a pure political ploy which would backfire-- i.e., you let this bastard pose a threat to us for over three years when OBVIOUSLY you could have nailed him the whole time! (Or put another way, "we weren't expecting the Spanish Inquisition").

No-- October would not be propitious timing-- not at all. Look for a mid to late April Osama thing... maybe tax day-- make it a "hey, we give you tax cuts (don't look at state and local taxes behind the curtain!) AND Osama-- aren't we great!" Just the poetry of Hitler's birthday... (also, the Columbine anniversary-- something we could blame on the moral lassitude of the Clinton Administration!)

So, by the end of April, I will likely be hired as the Donald's new apprentice (playing the role of the "Sistah with attitude"), and OBL will be captured (or killed... nah-- he'll be captured). If I'm wrong, of course... it will just be the Bush Administration changing its plans to spite me... but if I'm right, I can assure you that my tax returns will be audited for some time...

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You are the Dale Gribble of the blogworld, and Senor Rick is the Boomhauer.

Posted by Harry at March 18, 2004 09:46 PM

I'm not entirerly convinced that Bush Inc. was at all unaware of the intent to assault your fair berg...

Out here in the hinterland, we're dustin' off 'are guns.

The October surprise is Marshall Law... suspend the elections.

Posted by Thoams Ware at March 18, 2004 10:59 PM

I'm not entirerly convinced that Bush Inc. was at all unaware of the intent to assault your fair berg...

Out here in the hinterland, we're dustin' off 'are guns.

The October surprise is Marshall Law... suspend the elections.

Posted by Thoams Ware at March 18, 2004 10:59 PM

So, is OBL dead or alive? You're on both sides of this one.

Posted by Lawrence at March 19, 2004 09:26 AM

Harry--
I'll just think of myself as the "King of the Hill" and be done with it.

Thoams--
I take it you mean martial law? I suppose we could have marshall law in the manner of the Wild West; actually, that has some level of appeal, now that I think about it...

Lawrence:
As of 3-19-04, he's alive (to be honest, my private CIA's source of intelligence, an unnamed former official of an unnamed country... in the region) assured my impeccable contact that OBL was indeed alive as of last summer. COuld he have died of renal failure in the interim? Maybe... But I'll go out on a limb (not a long or very high one) and say I'm pretty sure OBL is alive; neither American or Pakistani forces killed him-- I'll tell you that. So-- yeah, he's alive. How else could we capture him on Hitler's birthday?

Posted by the talking dog at March 19, 2004 10:31 AM

Then do you still think GWB is a greater threat to your life and liberty than OBL on the loose?

Posted by Lawrence at March 19, 2004 12:08 PM

No Dale. If I had meant that you were Hank Hill, I would have written so. For every Hank on the hill, there's a Gribble.

Posted by Harry at March 19, 2004 04:13 PM

Then do you still think GWB is a greater threat to your life and liberty than OBL on the loose?

You need to unbundle these to get a meaningful answer. GWB is a bigger threat to my liberty, OBL a bigger threat to my life. But OBL can't destroy the liberty of a single American who decides to live bravely rather than in fear. Nor could he make a track on the Blue Ridge in a trial of a thousand years, to get all allusive for a minute.

Posted by Jim Henley at March 19, 2004 09:22 PM

Hey TD. This guy Harry is a jerk.

Posted by Concerned Citizen at March 19, 2004 10:39 PM

Hey TD. This guy Harry is a jerk.

Posted by Concerned Citizen at March 19, 2004 10:39 PM

GWB is a bigger threat to my liberty...

Life in the umma won't be so bad, eh? And dhimmitude no hardship on your liberties, I suppose.

Posted by Lawrence at March 20, 2004 04:49 PM

Hey Concerned Citizen,
Perhaps you should call Batman.

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the talking dog

March 18, 2004, Al-Zawahiri today; Osama in 33...

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