The Talking Dog "Sure, the dog can talk…but does it say anything interesting?" He ain't The Man's best friend

We are marching to Praetoria

This week’s visit to our friends at Pravda gives us this from Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey on why a vote for George W. Bush is a vote for armageddon. The thesis is simple, and you can read it in this column several times a week. Out chicken-hawk led Faux Macho Schmuck government, by bringing death, destruction and horror the Middle East, does not make the world safer. No, they have revivified a moribund Al Qaeda and Islamist terrorist movement that was running out of steam, until its horrific plans came together unusually well on September 11th. Now, since the American reaction, it...

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Kid Kerry Hangs Tough; No Gentleman George Holds Belt

Your talking dog scored the bout for Kerry, maybe 7 rounds to 5, with a 2-1 aggregate judging score. Last night’s debate was surprisingly entertaining… the President was surprisingly well-prepared and articulate (for him), and his knowledge of world affairs (Sudanese leaders, the existence of Liberia) should hurt him among his base (“I wouldn’t want to have a beer with this wonk“). Kid Kerry was loose, rested, tannned… what was with that hair, though… and as expected, the far superior debater. While the polls of actual voters are all that will matter, we can assume that by Sunday morning, somehow...

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I’m sure their parents are glad we removed Saddam from power

An explosion aimed at an American led convoy in the Baghdad area killed at least 30 Iraqi children. This is (supposedly) the largest number of children killed in one incident since the giant war crime against the people of Iraq perpetrated in our name was initiated seventeen months ago (jebus, it seems longer than that, no?) If no one else will say it, I will. No one has to agree with me, if they don’t want to. I’m no longer running for anything (my running mate Bruce and I, having failed to secure the Democratic presidential nomination). So I’ll just...

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Glass-Jaw Al Sends Advice to Kid Kerry

While I regard the Sainted Al Gore as an American treasure, there really are limits to the things he should be doing. Having elected to sit out the 2004 election cycle, I don’t think he should be doing things like giving John Kerry debate advice for tomorrow night’s pivotal first presidential debate in Miami. Kid Kerry was famously President of the Debating Society back at Dear Old Yale (where, as you will recall, our esteemed President was a C-student legacy, and served as a cheerleader– more the kind that makes inane yells, rather than one who does gymnastics, of course.)...

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More reality disconnect… by the numbers

What do the numbers over 50, 1,052 and 52 have to do with each other? For those who hate clicking through, we’re talking, of course, about the spot price of crude oil, the number of American troops killed in Iraq, and of course, the President’s current approval rating. There are a variety of factors accounting for the high oil prices, including perceived instability in Nigeria (a big source of oil for… us), refining and distribution problems caused by recent hurricanes, and… you know… that whole Middle East thing. Prince Bandar has directed the Hermes Kingdom’s public relations office to tell...

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Integrity Disconnect

While President Bush calls John Kerry a traitor for questioning just how rosy things are in Iraq, Secretary of State Colin Powell chimes in to tell us that the situation in Iraq is worsening as we prepare to rig that nation’s elections this January. I sure as hell hope that Senator Kerry is listening, and can now add Secretary Powell’s remarks to his litany. The reality, of course, is that we are killing around twice as many innocent civilians as the insurgents, and once in a while, the President might want to check what his own Pentagon is saying about...

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The Naked Emperior, as seen from elsewhere

This week’s visit to Beijing’s People’s Daily (as you recall, my theory once was that I would try to provide at least a weekly visit to the two other metropoles– Eastasia and Eurasia — I blog regularly from New York, the financial heart of Oceania, so that one is covered) covers roughly the same subject as yesterday’s visit to Pravda. In this case, the PRC’s house organ tells us that the President’s unilateral strategy as applied to Iraq violated UN protocols and rules, and indeed, as UN Sec. Gen. Kofi Annan said recently, violated international law. Further, Bush’s constant references...

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Slumber party

Back to our visits to Pravda, with this account of President Bush’s big anti-terror speech to the UN General Assembly. The money line is that a fair number of UNGA delegates were asleep during the President’s speech. The point, of course, is that since Bush is basically reading the same script he has been reciting for years now, there is nothing new– and the UNGA delegates are not likely to stand and applaud (the way our own Politburo does) when the President hurls meaningless words like “freedom” (the President’s main bitch), “democracy”, or telling everyone how bad Saddam is. As...

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Pay no attention to the man behind the kaftan

This shit seems to be getting old, unless you are a “resolved” “Texan” “leader” who tells us “I will not falterTM”, but in good old Baghdad, six Egyptian workers of the Iraqi mobile phone company were kidnapped from out of their office in broad daylight. Do not be alarmed, I tell you! All is well! The cold-blooded killer we placed in charge of Iraq (via Digby) assures us that life in Iraq is so much better now that the previous cold blooded killer we replaced him with is safely incarcerated. (Yes– if you missed that link– go back and read...

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The Fog and Phony Show

The President continues to remind us all of the Kevin Bacon character screaming “do not be alarmed, all is well” at the end of Animal House, just as he is trampled to death under an escaping crowd, particularly with moves such as parading Iraqi-Puppet-Premier Allawi around Washington to tell us how swimmingly things are and how hopeful he is for Iraq. Fortunately, at least one of the groups he will see lost its sense of irony (or reality) a long time ago, and will have no need even to suspend disbelief. That of course, would be the joint session of...

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