Gentlemen– to the Swift-boats!

Thus would appear to be the cry of Republicans to save the honor of… the Republic… against a pansy-assed pussy shit bastard, decorated combat hero and career Marine and now Democratic Congressman from Pennsylvania John Murtha, who, outrageously, called the Iraq war a failure and urged that all U.S. troops be brought home within six months. Just what is this guy thinking? Does he have no idea of the effect that this will have on White House staffers and the 101st Fighting Keyboarders? Fortunately, it looks the Swift-boaters are already mobilized, as Scott McLellan has already called Murtha, who as SecDef, Dick Cheney regarded as a key warmongering ally, “Nancy Pelosi’s new Michael Moore”. So take that, beeyutch.
Meanwhile… Vice President Dick Dastardly continues his daily tirades. It is just not good news when the President crosses the international date-line, and can only make miscues that are not for the appropriate news cycle, leaving America to actually have to see who its actual leader is. Not good; it might well explain why, as bad as the President’s numbers have been, Dick’s overnights are starting to approach those of General Zod.
Not to worry, Dick: the President will soon be back in town, and Bob Woodward seems committed to helping you keep your dirty little secrets… Et tu, Bob? It’s all about access to the tough guys’ table, isn’t it? Tough guys like Vice-President Dick “5 Deferments” Dastardly…
What do I think of an independent press and the people’s right to know? I think
they would be excellent ideas…