July 4, 2004, Happy Independence Day
Happy Independence Day to all. Its a gorgeous day here at my undisclosed location somewhere on the East Coast, so I'll try (probably unsuccessfully) to be brief. Please try to take the news contained herein in the best possible spirit, as only the truth can set us independent... er, free...
One of TD's psychic friends (literally-- he is a professional psychic-- frequently on t.v. and everything!) has told me that, alas, just like last time, when no matter how many tarot readings he did, Bush came up the "winner" of the election, tells me that (oh me!, oh my!) once again, the cards are simply coming up the same way (though he does say-- "I could be wrong"-- as if). He did get incredibly excited at the notion that a certain unnamed Democratic political figure might be a Kerry veep possibility, believing that this figure would assure a Kerry victory. But this unlikely figure (who is NOT being talked about, btw, and NO HINTS, except it isn't Hillary, Gore, Edwards, Gephardt, McCain or any of the current "talked abouts") isn't the point of this.
The point of this post is to reconcile ourselves, as liberals, to the possibility that this frat-boy front-man, in the best George sense (Costanza, that is, not "George W. Bush"), personifies the quip "Its not a lie if YOU believe it." Whether or not we believe it, George W. Bush somehow believes that everything he is doing is right, good and just-- and evidently, millions of others believe that too. Sure, you say, how can this be, if millions of people watching Michael Moore's latest opus see George W. Bush, after being told America is under attack, retreat into a classroom in Florida...
FLORIDA? FLORIDA? Slowly I turn... step by step... inch by inch... chad by chad... butterfy ballot by butterfly ballot ... county by county... reminded of what could have been... how goons were sent... judge by judge... court by court... how I just wanted to wrap my hands around that fuckface Jim Baker's neck... and squeeze... SQUEEZE... S Q U E E Z E ! ! ! !... Yes ! YES!!!! And then find that smug-faced little prick fuck Antonin Scalia and squeeze his neck... Yes !!! YESS!!!!! And his duck-huntin-buddy Dick, and squeeze his little pencil neck... harder and HARDER and H A R D E R !!!!!!
Man that felt good.
Short answer-- things will suck under a second Bush term, but we'll live through it. Some of us will even thrive during it... it just won't be the end of the world. Again: millions of people, for whatever reason, do not feel that he is the quintessential mix of Mephistophales and Mo Howard that (ahem) I think he is... life will go on. To convince those people, we will need a really good, positive reason to turn him out of office, the kind of message (that right now, at least) Senator Kerry is either not delivering, or not getting through the media (albeit, who has its own agenda), and sadly, may not be in the cards.
While I hope TD's psychic friend is wrong, let's just say, you gotta know when to hold 'em...
Comments
Psychics? Tarot Cards? Did April Fool's Day come three months late here?
Did this guy verify his reading by examining the entrails of a pigeon?
Ask him if I should I keep my Lucent stock?
Can you say "Lost my credibility in one posting"?
Besides, Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg has better things to do than be Veep.
Too bad we can't scan W's palm print and e-mail it to you for analysis.
What's next - Wiccan curses on W in the name of Gaeia?
In all seriousness, shouldn't you refrain from posting when you've obviously been celebrating the holiday?
Posted by Dejected Dan at July 4, 2004 06:11 PM
DD--
I find it odd that you would find that I had any credibility if I were capable of losing it in one posting, let alone THIS posting... No WONDER you are dejected.
You seem to have missed the entire point, which was the revivification of one of the greatest Vaudeville/3 Stooges/Abbott and Costello bits of all time.
AND you missed the secondary point, which is "Gee Merle, I'm not sure why them city folks is so down on Dubya... he seems o.k. to me... and that Kerry guy, all he does is rag on that Dubya, but I don't know why I should vote FOR him..."
AND you missed the tertiary point, which is, like the Bush Administration itself, there is no percentage in failing to plan for a potential "worst case" situation. Tarot cards or pigeon entrails aside, my psychic friend's point is that given the magnitude of the Bush scandals-- treason indictments should be coming down for Gawd's sake-- Chimpy should down 30 points in the polls, instead of freaking DEAD EVEN. Consider this a PSYCHIC WAKE UP CALL!!!
And, while I haven't asked him, IMHO, Lucent is a long term dead loser; I'd get out of it if I were you. Instead, try something like Halliburton, or News Corp., or at least Exxon-Mobil. Balance your portfolio with some H.J. Heinz Corporation stock.
Posted by the talking dog at July 4, 2004 06:53 PM
The reason he's in a dead heat is that he's a dud. Do you even remember who the Republicans ran against Clinton for his second term? (Dole, IIRC.) Dole's whole campaign was "I'm not Clinton".
True enough. But most of prefer someone who is someone.
There are a lot of us out there that are not fond of Bush. We just don't see Kerry as a viable alternative.
Now, if Clinton could run again... I might switch. But he can't.
Posted by Kathy K at July 4, 2004 08:49 PM
(Note - this comment will be even more sarcastic if you hear it in the voice of the Comic Book Shop Guy on the Simpsons as you read along).
Huh, the psychic thing was not meant to be serious? Just to get the attention of the passing crowd?
So that would make you a carnival barker, with all the credibility that comes with the position.
What's next to make a point, a dog-faced boy or an Original Feejee Mermaid?
Now I really am dejected! (Oh, did I guess right about Caroline?)
Posted by Dejected Dan at July 4, 2004 09:39 PM
KK--
The big problem with Kerry, as another blogger put it, is he might not win the "Who looks less like a funeral director" contest, that seems to be how we pick our Presidents. If Kerry had a definite program (besides "spend more money on everything"), or some semblance of a vision, or even a really peachy-keen persona, maybe we'd get there. Personally, I think "I'm not Bush" WILL be enough this year-- but this shouldn't be a nail-biter. It just shouldn't-- I'm sorry, but whether or not he's a Lucifer/Lou Costello hybrid or not, George W. Bush hasn't done a very good job. But then, it should be relatively easy to take him down-- and Kerry isn't getting that job done (at least yet... I'm hopeful).
DD--
No, the fellow is a genuine psychic (at least by profession; you chose to believe him, or not, at your personal preference.) As to carnival barkers and FeeJee Mermaids, I'll make my points any bloody way I feel like it, this being my blog (for which I pay for both the URL and the server host) and all. And Caroline is incorrect; further hint-- while Caroline has much in common with this person (right party, however, wrong gender)... its not Caroline (and its not BILL Clinton either).
See-- if YOU were a genuine psychic-- you would know already. Hope you put in the order to dump Lucent...
Posted by the talking dog at July 4, 2004 09:51 PM
"Any bloody way?"
Now affected English phrasing.
One can only imagine what's next. (Hey, how about showing me to the Egress?)
By the way, only Caroline could give Kerry, whom one of your more astute commentors calls "Lurch", any sort of pizzazz. Your psychic sounds like one of these "what if" guys, who posit things that won't come to be in order to look good. How about this, would Jimmy Carter still have lost in 1980 if his running mate was Sylvester Stallone? My cards say no.
Posted by Dejected Dan at July 4, 2004 10:28 PM
Certainly, Stallone looked less like a funeral director than Walter Mondale, and later went through a series of women including a Swedish groupie and socialite... might have worked, especially if Stallone could have gotten Carter to come out of the White House (and ESPECIALLY if Stallone had gone over and single-handedly rescued the hostages form Iran).
But no, its not Caroline, and my candidate is a real, live active politician.
Posted by the talking dog at July 5, 2004 09:30 AM
The news states that Kerry interrupted John Edwards on his vacation at Disneyland to discuss running as veep.
I wonder if he was at Fantasyland? He certainly was not at The World of Tomorrow.
Posted by They Call Me Mr. Crabcake at July 5, 2004 06:09 PM
TD,
Niagra Falls.
P.S.
A psychic you believe, and you vilify the Crab man for lambasting the Democrats for picking Kerry? He's the worst choice since the Republicans froze out McCain in favor of Bush in 2000.
Posted by They Call Me Mr. Crabcake at July 5, 2004 06:16 PM
What was that about "worst choices"? The guy who froze out McCain BECAME PRESIDENT! Is that your problem, with Sen. Kerry? He might WIN THE PRESIDENCY (note-- I won't say election)?
You can read yards and yards of column inches in my archives from last winter criticizing the choice of John Kerry, and all of the tons of negative baggage he comes with (first and foremost his support of the Iraq debacle, btw) -- and then noting hat once he secured the nomination I would fall right in to support him (because he's not Bush). BTW-- he's STILL not Bush.
I am not set in either my belief nor disbelief of my friend the professional psychic-- I point out a very, very cautionary tale: his point was, a prediction of Bush now (which you can take as seriously as a coin flip coming up "Bush" time after time... same significance to me, btw) should be as preposterous as a prediction of victory for Nader-- nearly 1000 dead Americans in Iraq FOR NO REASON; high officials condoning-- no ORDERING-- torture of innocent people for no good reason; those same officials giving our most guarded national secrets directly to our archest enemies; outing our secret agents for short term political gamesmanship; anemic job numbers; record deficits; uncontrolled spending, and MORE tax cuts; high gas prices... Bush should be considering RESIGNING with this "performance", and yet he is in a dead heat for reelection... now why is that? His point is that its just absurdly close-- so as little as one or two good weeks for Bush-- not months-- just WEEKS-- and Bush will probably nose out Kerry.
Why? Because, so far anyway, Kerry has put on an abysmal campaign. Maybe it will improve-- maybe he will name John Edwards who will just electrify the nation (or my secret weapon candidate)... but then, maybe he will
follow the rumors and seriously consider naming Dick Gephardt (in which case, the talking dog will probably become a poetry and avant garde art and music blog, with some mention of sports, and I will probably BAN mentions of politics thereafter...) and yes, if you're reading this, anyone in the Kerry campaign, it will be THAT BAD if its Gephardt...
(Explanatory note: Its unlikely to be Gephardt or Edwards, or even Vilsak... Kerry is big on these kinds of psy-ops- and he likes surprises, and he wants a guy who won't outshine him... but hopefully, he'll at least keep the suspense going until the convention.)
Posted by the talking dog at July 5, 2004 06:56 PM
Um.
As far as I'm concerned, the only campaign promise that Kerry has to make for me to gleefully vote for him is "I will not let George W. Bush choose two to four Supreme Court nominees in the mode of Antonin Scalia for his hand-packed Congress ram through"
Does anyone out there think Kerry, who frankly is far too centrist for me to be comfortable with him, is going to screw anything up badly enough to compare with what Bush has promised to do?
Posted by julia at July 5, 2004 07:21 PM
Great!
In two one sentence paragraphs, Julia has given a compelling reason why people besides those of us in solid blue states (and in cities to whom the President promised the moon, after first sleeping at the wheel while we were struck by terrorists, and then telling us to go fuck ourselves at money time, except during photo-weeks of course) should support Kerry.
Sure-- because the kind of incompetent hack ideologues (and torture memo writers) Bush has foist on us in the lower courts should not be permitted to take the next Supreme Court opening. Great reason.
Now... can we get KERRY to say that? Honestly-- forgetting ideology, Mrs. TD has me finally coming round to the idea that this crew is more incompetent than they are evil (I believed it was statistically impossible to make THAT MANY wrong choices that close together- they HAD TO BE EVIL). In short, Kerry could run on a "good government" platform... And still, the easy ones are still there for Kerry-- forgetting ideology-- the schmucks Bush has put up are often not very good judges; the environment has been badly managed; the economy remains moribund; only Hoover has as bad a jobs record...
But we'll keep it simple. If campaigning on the Supreme Court does it, we'll take it...
Posted by the talking dog at July 5, 2004 07:34 PM
TD,
My point was that Kerry was a choice by the Democratic Powers That Be (Clinton, McAuliffe, and, well, Clinton), and not a real candidate of the constituents. Just the same as the Republicans drafting Bush without giving McCain an equal opportunity on the ballot. (Although the Dems picked their guy as a sure loser. Should he win, this just turns into the Producers.) But, are you saying that either of them winning suddenly justifies the manipulation? I guess I've been misreading your column.
Posted by They Call Me Mr. Crabcake at July 5, 2004 09:10 PM
As a moderate, temperate fellow, I always like to check in occasionally with the more inflammatory folk.
Posted by Zizka at July 5, 2004 10:08 PM
It's true.....Kerry ain't Bush and his VP WON'T BE CHENEY...that is a bright spot on the horizon of the unknown, soon to be known (don't mean to sound Rummified). Everyone get some rest and use 'Edwards' as your mantra as you fall asleep.
Posted by alicia at July 5, 2004 10:41 PM
That's quite a statement, there, Crabcakes, and I disagree with it entirely. John Kerry was not chosen by any establishment except the proprietors of used car dealerships, grain silos and other businesses in Iowa.
Yes, George W. Bush was the choice of money-men in the GOP, and hence, the voters be damned if they wanted McCain, but John Kerry was most assuredly NOT the choice of any "Democratic establishment", be it the Clinton machine (that would have been Wesley Clark, the guy they lent their money-raising talents to) or anything else. He made the sale on his own-- albeit to a preposterously small group of people.
For better or worse, a few people in Iowa (5 or 6 thousand people voting differently would have made all the difference in the world) decided Kerry could best beat Bush-- they believed Gephardt's horseshit about Dean, and of course, that Dean was "rude", and the die was cast. The press gang-up on Dean after Iowa was actually less important than we all thought at the time-- whoever won Iowa would have an insurmountable advantage.
The New Hampshire Democrats were delighted to let Iowa do their thinking for them, and then the cascade effect of inevitability set in. Yes, Clinton, McAuliffe, et al. set up the early bird primary so there would be no time to undo early decisions (Clinton in '92 lost BOTH Iowa and New Hampshire), but they didn't make those decisions of WHO would benefit from it: for better or worse, the voters made them.
Alicia-- I'm told we'll know by late morning tomorrow; the Kerry campaign is being painted now. Besides Edwards, the frontrunners are Tom (Vilsack) and Dick (Gephardt), for a Tom, Dick and Kerry party...
Look for it to be someone else altogether... Gov. Mark Warner (D-Va.), maybe? (What do I know? I have no idea. The Bush meltdown may be so inevitable that Kerry might even be able to survive an act of catastrophic stupidity, like picking Gephardt... I just don't want to have to find out...)
Posted by the talking dog at July 5, 2004 11:27 PM
The Kerry campaign PLANE is being painted now. Consider this an open thread for guesses before the official annoucnement; MT will do the time stamping (EDT) so we'll know if you cheated!!! My guess is above... I put no stock in it (unless its right, in which case... be afraid...)
Posted by the talking dog at July 5, 2004 11:29 PM
Perhaps I am being naive, but I thought Kerry was picked by the Democratic party's voters during the primaries. Howard Dean had a big lead and a lot of money and he didn't win the primaries. Wesley Clark and John Edwards both were presented to the voters and the voters rejected them to. Dennis Kucinich is a very nice man with some lovely and idealistic positions, but the voters didn't go for him, nor did they go for Al Sharpton or Carol Mosley Braun or that guy from Connecticut, that Lieberman clown. What's the "hand-picked by" stuff about? Just asking.
Posted by WallyCoxLives at July 6, 2004 08:31 AM
I see. It's taken for granted that the Republicans do these things, but not the sainted Democrats. Please. I have a Time and a Newsweek magazine from primary period if you would like to buy them.
Posted by They Call Me Mr. Crabcake at July 6, 2004 12:18 PM
So are you saying it's about nothing or did you want to explain, as I asked, what you are talking about?
Posted by WallyCoxLives at July 6, 2004 12:37 PM
I think that the Kerrry-Edwards Plane should be named "Valery". (Plane / Plame, get it?)
Posted by at July 6, 2004 01:06 PM
Anonymous poster--
In just six months and a coupla weeks, their plane will be called "Air Force One". As to the Bush melt-downs, I assure you-- the new Kerry-Edwards team (remember when this was considered "the dream team") is smart enough to get out of their way...
Let's not discount the value that John Edwards' uncanny resemblance to the beloved-if-not-talented John Ritter will bring to the table; it was pointed out to me today just how much George W. Bush resembled the YOUNG Johnny Carson... significance: people trusted and were comfortable with this-- willing to suspend disbelief with the guy's otherwise total inexperience and troubling agenda.
Hopefully, the Kerry-Edwards train can get rolling now, and not stop until the terminal at 1600 Pennsylvania Station...
Mr. Crabcake--
You are not just perplexing Wally, you are perplexing ME. If you mean to insinuate that Bill and Hillary are manipulating the Democratic Party's levers in a manner similar to how the Bush family and their Establishment machine manipulated Republican Party bosses to overcome maverick McCain, I respectfully disagree. Hillary's Presidential aspirations, at least while she's still young, have just been dealt a serious blow today-- win or lose, with this nod, John Edwards becomes an exremely formidable player in either the '08 or '12 presidential race... (not like Joe Schmo-mentum, either).
If you're referring to Democratic "dirty tactics", such as push-polling or back-biting ads, or even the Clintons trying to keep General Clark in the race long enough to make sure Edwards had no shot at all, yes-- that all certainly took place-- but we have come to be inured to that sort of thing at this point (btw-- Howard Dean's 3000 teenagers in "Perfect Storm" hats probably pissed off as many Iowa caucs-goers as it impressed)... Anyway, its certainly not "the same" as how the Bush family played the game on their side. And I think Edwards' selection today kind of undermines that particular conspiracy theory: Kerry's prospects just got a huge shot of adrenaline, and Edwards' have just gotten rocket fuel. If Mrs. Clinton intended to run for President in 2008, or even 2012, she will now have some serious competition within her own party... hardly something she would have set up on her own...
Do not confuse rounds and rounds of voters chosing to simply ratify a decision earlier made in Iowa as some sort of outside manipulation. Simply, the stage was set: we need an early nominee-- and everyone jumped on it. Who it was was a choice freely made-- albeit by a ridiculously small group of voters (then again, far MORE voters than the ultimate Bush margin of victory in 2000)...
Posted by the talking dog at July 6, 2004 01:57 PM
Just looking for an answer since I didn't understand where Crablegs was coming from.
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Then a friend turned me on to corporate franchising. Krispy Kreme, Burger King, Nathan's, etc. The possibilities are endless, just like existence. You are in control of your own destiny, so there's no need to worry about politics.
That's why I want you involved in franchising Wally Cox restaurants.
I think this is the answer you've been searching for. Come join us.
Posted by Franchise Man at July 6, 2004 06:13 PM
"I did not know that!" Bush has that playing-dumb thing down to a T.
Posted by at July 6, 2004 06:17 PM
TD has partially nailed it. Dean was the Poster Boy, and the only one that remotely differed from W, out of the legit contenders. TopDems hinted that he was insane and/or unstable long before his screaming meltdown (same as Republicans questioned McCain's sanity, or stability, given his POW years). TopDems threw Clark into the mix, and then kept him out of the only race that mattered (Iowa), thus guaranteeing that he would muck up the works, with no legit chance of winning. They forgot to even give him an opinion on Iraq, but made him a flamethrower against the other candidates (even Kerry, though he strangely benefitted from the unsubstantiated sex scandal). The idea was that no leader would emerge, and the troops would settle on a candidate that offered little, was Bush Lite, and likely could not win. The fact that the first bit of excitement in the Kerry campaign comes in July, because of his running mate, speaks volumes. Kerry has never been ahead in the polls, despite Bush getting the worst press in modern history. Even Dukakis was once ahead by 17 points. This is astounding. And it is exactly what TopDems 2008 ordered.
Posted by They Call Me Mr. Crabcake at July 6, 2004 08:06 PM
Ah, yes, the TopDems conspiracy. I forgot about that. Those dirty, unnamed, impossible to find and pin down, completely undocumented and often composed of vapor TopDems.
Actually, the real nasty business took place in 1992 when Topcat, Brain, and Benny the Ball managed to manipulate the primaries and give Bill Clinton the nomination so that they could get Socks into the White House. They turned the first Bush into a scratching post that year. I hear Topcat even managed to nail George I's French mistress. Officer Dibble was just not up to the effort of taking down the nefarious scheme.
Posted by WallyCoxLives at July 7, 2004 08:52 AM
"I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat" --Will Rogers
oh, hooey.
"Kerry has never been ahead in the polls..."
The press has been piling on Kerry at the same time as Bush has spent close to the previous record in spending for an entire presidential campaign beating the crap out of him and Bush's negatives are higher - what corner of Oz do you live in that you think this is an indictment of Kerry or something that was orchestrated by "top dems"?
Posted by julia at July 7, 2004 09:12 AM
Yes, the whole press corps is actually French. That's why they have the unpatriotic and un-American temerity to report the facts, which are, as everyone knows, anti-Bush. If they would just repeat Flounder's daily message to the sheeple, everything would be wonderful and we'd all love President Miserable Failure. Instead, the press has been "piling on" poor, downtrodden, misunderstood President Miserable Failure by reporting what is actually happening, like the fact that those twelve missiles that were found had no chemical weapons in them, that Tony Blair admits they've found no WMDs and may never find any, the way the press has reported the price of gas (which nobody would know about if it weren't for the evil SCLM), that stupid deficit, Cheney cursing on the floor of the Senate, the Plame investigation (which actually gets little coverage), the darned F911 movie, and so on. Damn media. I swear they must be Frenchies.
Posted by WallyCoxLives at July 7, 2004 09:51 AM
Would that it were so, but there's been damn little of that going on.
Unfortunately, as Andrea Mitchell so succinctly put it on Sunday, "we" may be losing the american people, so maybe it won't matter (cross fingers)
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