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Gunmen linked to the Saudi chapter of Al Qaeda attacked the American consulate at Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, killing a number of Saudi staff members (and a Saudi police officer); all but two of the gunmen were killed, while two were captured, and will doubtless be executed long before American officials are permitted to investigate this attack on our sovereignty, and doubtless, the Bush Administration will merrily accept whatever bullshit excuse Governor General Bandar provides to cover this. It’s really too bad, of course, that we are tied up in Iraq , and therefore, will probably be unable to retaliate against...

First, a cheery piece during this week’s visit to our friends at Beijing’s People’s Daily, as we learn that the wild and crazy maniacs of North Korea are getting a little balky again about the prospects of the six-party talks the President has been so big on. This is all a big kabuki, of course: what the DPRK says it wants is basically a bit stronger non-aggression pact than the armistice we’ve been operating under since the early 1950’s. Why? Exactly: because George W. Bush showed Axis of Evil TM member Iraq that he takes “regime change” seriously, thereby encouraging...

This week’s visit to Pravda gives us an “up close and personal” on some of the all-important mob members, estimated at around 5,000, who are camping outside government buildings in Kiev, in support of challenger Viktor (or is it Victor) Yuschenko. Among the festivities are at least four engagements and one actual marriage, and of course, the “Miss Revolution” contest for the lovely young lady protestors who did not manage to pair up. Hard to say if the crowd will begin to dissipate now that they seem to have their wish: the Ukrainian Supreme Court has nullified the last round...

Amidst the announcements of the resignations of Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson and U.N. Ambassador John Danforth (and of course Tom Ridge to be be replaced by Bernie Kerik who will put the Ho’ in Homeland Security), the Bush Administration announces that the one guy who will stay is SecDef Rumsfeld. Bruce-the-veep e-mails to suggest that perhaps President Bush, Vice President Cheney and Secretary Rumsfeld are, in fact, involved in a plot to soften up Earth for an invasion by their alien overlords. The more likely reason is that dumping Rumsfeld (for any reason, at any time) would...

All hail former New York City Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik, on his appoojntment as our second HOmeland Security Secretary. When the nation (or at least, the Imperium) needs a man who knows how to say “Yes, Il Duce” without asking any questions, Bernie Kerik answered the call.

Out of nowhere, new unemployment claims jumped unexpectedly for last week, to around 350,000 (around 25,000 higher than expected). Certainly this is possibly explained as a statistical anomoly from a volatile holiday season… by next week, this could easily “correct”. If, on the other hand, this is evidence of a more persistent trend of economic weakness, then, coming as it does at the peak consumer spending season, this does not bode well… Not to worry. Reality is no longer important; we’ll just wait for the White House announcement to tell us the actual significance (or insignificance) of this event.

In a stunning reversal of an earlier announcement, jailed militant Palestinian Marwan Barghouti announced his candidacy for the Presidency of the Palestinian Authority. Mahmoud Abbas, Fatah’s official candidate, remains the favorite (and, unfortunately for his prospects, Israel’s favorite), but the jailed Barghouti could complicate things in an already insanely complicated situation as the Palestinians seek an orderly transition to the post-Arafat kleptocracy…, er, order. Meanwhile, Israeli PM Ariel Sharon dismissed his coalition partner, (Justice Minister) Tommy Lapid’s secular Shinui Party (the big winner in early 2003’s election), and has announced that he will approach Shimon Peres and the Labour Party...

Amidst the same group of news that noted that the Jeopardy! champion got knocked off, and that “blog” was Merriam-Webster’s “word of the year”, we see that our beloved Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge joins the waves of departing Bush cabinet secretaries. Ridge will now “spend more time with his family”, one of the great political euphemisms for “the organization wants to make some changes”. In this case, more close at hand loyalists, so that there is no cacophony… just a pure message coming from Washington (after all- reality is irrelevant… it’s the message that matters.) It’s “code red” for...

Just when we were getting used to a probable record month for American casualties in Iraq, Al Qaeda number two Ayman al-Zawahiri sends greetings via a video broadcast on al Jazeera television. The video-tape was pretty close to OBL’s own pre-election message (which, translated from the Arabic, went something like “while Bush is obviously great for our business, given that Kerry is pandering to your stupid rural assholes by trying to get a seat at the tough guy’s table, he won’t be that bad for business either”). The text of the portions that al Jazeera broadcast (my translation) was something...

This week’s visit to our friends at Beijing’s People’s Daily will give us a brief look at all three members of the Axis of Evil TM. First, from Iran, we see that the Iranian foreign ministry is quibbling with the recent purported agreement with European powers Britain, France and Germany to suspend uranium enrichment activities, though Iran (“with the support of nations from the non-aligned movement”) is seeking to modify aspects of the agreement, including keeping 20 centrifuges “for research”. Note that the USA continues to accuse Iran of developing weapons. Our problem here is that (1) we have no...